Saturday, June 2, 2012

Ode To A Cheese

Recently, my mom was cleaning out my 
grandma's fridge and found this....

I know aged cheese is coveted but I'm 
pretty sure this doesn't fall into that category...
 If you're having difficulty reading 
(or believing what you've read), 
it's dated May 7th, 1976.

My mom is absolutely, without a doubt one of the funniest people I know but she's not the bubbly, ebullient type so it took me until my teenage years to really realize the extent of her hilarity.  What follows is the perfect encapsulation of her witty genius. Without further ado, I present my mom's masterpiece.

Ode To A Cheese

Oh, humble, fortunate fromage 

Spreadable, Casino, Blue Cheese 
We have known you so long, and yet never really knew you.
 

From Nixon and Ford to Obama 
Bell bottoms to saggy bottoms 
From a family of six to one of twenty three
 

How have we had you so long?
 

Your packaging 
Classic and simple 
Neither trendy nor edgy, thus never dated or tired 
Opaque, revealing not the metamorphosis within
 

Adopted by one so unique 
Adventurous, bringing exotic flavors to the table 
Striving, raising four children, graduate school, so very little time 
Frugal, a child conceived in the shadow of the Great Depression 
Loyal, fiercely defending all of her own, and those chosen friends (and cheeses) 
Seeing no flaws 
Defiant, scoffing at all rules and restrictions, including ‘use by’ 
Optimistic, choosing to believe the best

Yet most of the family 

Would never choose their dairy to be blue 
Casting not a second glance at you

Each day the door would open, hands would reach 

For others, never for you 
Rejection so frequent 
Never fulfilling your destiny
Of spreading joy on crackers


Yet carefully, lovingly transferred to each new refrigerator 

Brown-outs, black-outs, earthquakes and destruction 
Renewal 
Thirty six years

May 7, 1976



What are YOUR fridge or pantry horror stories?

P.S. The cheese is now a family heirloom.  It's currently residing with my mom.

4 comments:

  1. My dad has a can of M*A*S*H* beer that he's had since the show originally aired. It's now followed them through about 8 house moves, always residing in the door of the fridge. Definitely a family heirloom.

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  2. I am so glad your mom kept the cheese! Before I read that, it was actually my first thought, "I hope someone kept the cheese!" I seriously love that the cheese was kept all those years. I don't even know how that is possible!!! Unfortunately, at this point, there are no food family heirlooms that I am aware of.

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