Thursday, July 28, 2011

Awkward / Awesome Volume 8

It's Thursday! The day we air our shameful awkward moments and awesome triumphs!

I have NO idea how I forgot to put this doozy in last week's round up...
Awesome: The first 5 minutes of my Tahoe vacation.  Ahhhhhhh.
Awkward: The call from my boss in minute 6: "Um... Your subject is here? She said you scheduled her to come in today?"

Awesome: Having Brutharrr back from Comic-Con.

Awesome: All those times I drew hearts tiny personal messages on the inside of the lid or the bottom of the cup of the person whose drink I was preparing (I used to be a barista and did this for people who looked interesting).
Awkward: Watching them drain the dredges and throw the cup away without noticing.
Awesome: Having a cute barista draw a small smiley face on the bottom of my cup yesterday (I didn't even notice until 4pm).

Awkward: Exiting the bus and emptying the contents of my lunchbox up and down the sidewalk.
Awkward x 2: Since everyone exiting had already left and everyone entering the bus was already seated, no one offered to help.  Instead, I was just 10 seconds of scrambling entertainment for the passengers before the vehicle slowly pulled away.

Awkward: Accidentally leaving my dad's evil dog on the front deck while we ran errands.
Awesome: Fortunately, the front deck is gated (she's been known to rip the spleen out of passing dogs). 
Awkward: After destroying everything on the deck (plants, my yoga mat, bags for goodwill, bagged food for donations...), she dug her way out.

Awkward: Getting midnight hunger cravings.
Awesome: Having a box of cereal near my bed.
Awkward: Trying to (a) open the box, (b) unroll the crinkly bag and then (c) eat the cereal quietly so as not to wake your roommate.  Impossible.
***CRUNCH..... CRUNCH***

Awesome: Finishing a full data set on my first subject.   
"Thanks so much, subject person! You don't need to come in and be tortured anymore!"
Awful: Having boss lady point out we're missing one block of data.  
"Um, I'm really sorry subject person, could you come in again?"
Awkward AND Awesome:  Finding out we DID Have that block of data... I had not only failed to transfer the file but failed to realize that as a possibility when searching for it. 
"Sooo, um, thanks for rescheduling your day but now could you actually NOT come in? Thanksssss."

Awkward: These two bottles look way too alike (especially with my contacts out) to be so close together on the counter.
Awesome: Knowing now why I have a dry face and pimple free hands!

Awkward: Parking in the city
Awesome: Having a friend give me a private, residential garage spot FOR FREE!
Awkward: Having to give up said spot while friend was traveling and go back to parking in the city. It's soul sucking.
Awesome: Having friend return!
Awkward: Finding out my new car wont fit in the spot.

Awkward: Not hearing back from a friend after several attempts at checking in.
Awkward x 2: Growing increasingly anxious and moving on from texts, to facebook messages and finally voicemails.
"I hope I haven't offended you in any way.  Your friendship means a lot to me..."
Awkward AND Awesome: Finally realizing friend is in London, away from all communication.
"Oh.  Heh."

Awkward: It was uncomfortable the FIRST time  my local barista pre-made my 'usual' and I didn't want the 'usual'.  (I put usual in quotes because I only come in on the occasional Saturday and rarely order the same thing).
Awkward x 2: She STILL does it. Despite repeated conversations of the type below: 
Her (without a smile or hint of friendliness): I got your breakfast wrap all ready.
Me: Um, no thank you, I already ate today.
Her (cold): Well.  It's ready.
Me: ... No thank you.  But thank you...

Awkward AND Awesome: Stepping into this elevator....

... and promptly making the *in my opinion* obligatory pun about Schindler's Lift.

Leave your cringe-worthy moments in the comments below!


  1. Your brother got to go to Comic Con!? Jealous!

    I can't believe that Starbucks barista -- that scenerio sounds so incredibly uncomfortable. I truly don't know how I would respond. You should call SNL and tell them you've got the perfect sketch to pitch to them. ;)

  2. Schindler's Lift! I still think it's funny.

    I think it's so sweet that you would write messages as a barista... and so sweet that someone did that for you! I wish someone did for me...

  3. Tell me the "smiley face" barista and the weird burrito barista aren't at the same coffee shop... Because it is OBVIOUS to me which one you should be returning to if they aren't! ;)

  4. HAHA. I love the last one.

    The paper thing - It's an old traditional "gift giving" list. I don't really know how to explain it all that much, but here is a wiki page that goes into more detail and what all the years mean and such: (if you scroll down)

  5. You might be my most favorite funny blog ever!!!!! Hahahah too funny about the face wash/handsoap LOL!

    Oh and P.S I want to try that recipe you mentioned on my blog that your Aunt makes!! I would love to know her recipe! That sounded so good!

  6. Awesome: Knowing now why I have a dry face and pimple free hands! That was so funny!

    And that barista that keeps on making you your "usuals" is a bit creepy! But definitely go back to the smiley face barista! So cute! I don't drink coffee so I had no idea people did this kind of cute stuff!

  7. You seem to be having run ins with baristas this week (both good and bad). I have to admit though, I love that the barista drew a smiley face on the bottom of your cup. Too cute!

  8. Beth - that's SUCH a good idea! That'd make a GREAT skit. I've had such fun acting it out for family and friends so far...
    Charlotte - Maybe some barista has... And then watched you walk away without noticing.
    Molly - Haha! No, they're different. That'd be super creepy. As it is, smiley-face dude is right near my work so I see him more than the maybe-once-a-weekend chance I get to go to frumples near my home.

    Natasha - Thanks for the cool random fact! Now I know what to get my recently wed friends...

    Lindsay - Awwwwww, your comments always brighten my day! Right back at ya though... Did you see you inspired the entire 'tuesday tidbits'/'brain droppings' series? Mutual admiration club indeed. As for the recipe, that was it! Slice up a raw zucchini, put on some marinara and enjoy!

    Lea - Keep your eyes peeled... I bet someone will do it to you.

    Jessica - I know, right? I guess I should cut back on coffee... I can't wait until this Fall when I unpack my espresso machine in my new place.

  9. It wasn't until this morning when I was flipping through EW that I realized that mask your brother is wearing is actually 3D GLASSES!!!

    Man that's cool. Comic Con does not disappoint!

  10. i love this so much. i need to start keeping track of all my awkward/awesomes. note to self.

    and if you enjoy puns, we REALLY oughta meet IRL some time. i can be very punny. few people enjoy it.

  11. Beth - I'm sure he told me they were at the time but I didn't really know either until your comment! We should both go next year.

    Audrey - I'm glad you contributed in the comments this week. Pure gold. And hells yes. All of our friends will abandon us, groaning and rolling their eyes at our contributions to the greatest puns man has ever known.


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