Saturday, April 30, 2011


Littlest is pretty cute when she's grumpy.  Not all of us are so lucky.
Who's to say what's normal but I have found I don't feel hunger in the same manner as those around me.  Sure, if I go 10 hours or so without eating, my stomach starts up with the pain but in less extreme cases, I don't have my stomach to tell me when it's time to eat.  Instead, as my blood sugar dips, I feel a cloud of ever increasing lethargy and brattiness descend.   I could feel lethargic or bratty for so, so many reasons other than hunger so this gets confusing, leading me to many an argument that could have been avoided or an overly full stomach as I turn to food to fix what isn't a lack-of-food related problem.

I'm starting to learn, though, how to inwardly check and give my body what it needs when it needs it.

If only it were so easy for my metaphysical hunger.

My spiritual hunger is exactly the same but on a grand scale.  I definitely know what real intense hunger for God is.  I feel it when my world crumbles.  I feel the pangs then, oh yes I do.  But those times are few and far between, thankgoodness.  It's the day-by-day that's bringing me down.  Slowly those days increase in number where I'm 'too busy' for my daily bible readings or realize the sun has set without me so much as thanking God for being alive.  The grand scale lethargy and the grand scale brattiness start to creep up.  I find so many other things to blame it on....

"I don't feel like being pleasant because I'm tired." 

"I'm upset because one person was rude to me this morning and it threw off my day!" 

"I'm mad at you because you said such-and-such!"

Blaming is easier, much easier, than humbling myself.  Than realizing I've failed again.  Because somehow, I have it firmly lodged in my head that the cycle of recognition (of sin), repentance & restoration isn't something that gets repeated.  I felt like once I've been restored, I can't afford to slip again.  To do so would use up my limited get out of jail free cards.

Does anyone else struggle with this?  That awful feeling of limited (and also, never fully complete) forgiveness?  Where does that idea COME FROM? And why can't I shake free of it?

I am floundering to find an ending for this post but maybe that's because this is a beginning and I shouldn't treat it as anything else....

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Hodge-Podge 3

I painted one of those blank Starbuck's mugs as a super-duper late Christmas present (t's a long story...) for Faja:

Photo by Faja

Tomorrow, Brutharrr and I are kicking off a Fast & Furious marathon in preparation for NUMBER 5!!! I couldn't BE more excited! Have you seen the previews? It looks reeeeedonkulus (even more so than my creative spelling just there).

I don't know the words either....

"You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind." 
-Irish Proverb
Isn't that the truth... So, I'm joining the likes of Autumn, Jess and Mandy in changing my eating habits to be healthier.  MY goals are
1) Less sugar 
2) Less salt 
3) Less snacking and more satisfying meals 
4) Drinking more water.  
The plan is to make this a permanent life change, but the short term goal is to feel fantabulous at an upcoming fancy-dress fundraiser event I'll be doing photography for in just 2 short weeks.
Wish me luck!

Random Thought-of-the-Day:
Does anyone else get annoyed several times a day that there's no way to emphasize the word 'I'?  Italicizing, bolding, underlining... all goes unnoticed on such a weeny letter.

What are you lovelies doing with YOUR weekends? 

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


Remember when I promised more photos from my weekend?  It's okay, I forgot too*

Without further ado...

I already knew they were adorable but when did they get gorgeous?!

I love it when they look like cartoon characters....

Remember these summer days?

And that gearing-up-for-a-cartwheel moment?


*not really but I needed an excuse for why this took so long.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Birthday Dresses

Thanks for all your sweet comments on my last post.  I should have said that while I certainly had moments of self-pity, I also did realize that had this craziness NOT happened, I wouldn't have gotten to spend that evening with my dear friend Steven (with whom I had a lovely time) and I'd instead have another uneventful, go-home-and-do-some-work-and-eat-dinner evening instead of an adventure.  Overall, it was actually a good day.

I got two beautiful dresses for my birthday!!! 

One from Madre...

and one from Faja...
dresses and wrap from Athleta (link to blue & purple & wrap)
boots - Aldo

Detail on back of wrap
Sorry for not having a picture of the blue dress without the wrap, but I'll be wearing it again plenty of times.  It's so darn comfy.
Thanks guys!

Thursday, April 21, 2011


Unfortunately, I locked my keys in my trunk...

Fortunately, my door handle was already loose, so I was able to get it all the way off.
Unfortunately, this didn't actually get me any closer to opening my car.

Fortunately, someone helped me jimmy the lock open with a coat hanger.

Unfortunately, this set off the alarm which then locked the 'open trunk' button.

Fortunately, a stranger offered me his AAA.

Unfortunately, it would cost $250.

Fortunately, I have a spare set of keys.

Unfortunately, the aforementioned keys resided an hour away from where I was.

Fortunately, my friend Steven came to the rescue and drove me to get my spare set.

Unfortunately, the craziness afforded me no time for dinner.

Fortunately, the friend who had my spare set of keys also had a zucchini muffin for me.

Unfortunately, I avoided zucchini muffins since my friend Ryan died because it was our thing.

Fortunately, it was delicious.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find my house keys when I got home.

Fortunately, the side door was unlocked.

Botanic Gardens + Outfit

Mom and I visited the botanic gardens.

I wore this...
dress - F21
necklace - h&m
shoes - target
jacket - bunny's

And saw this...

More pictures from the weekend soon.

What did you lovelies do?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Evil trees

Brutharrr, Madre and I went on a hike...

A tree tried to eat me...
Photo by Madre

Brutharrr got attacked also...

Fences make good neighbors family pics
Photo by Brutharrr
It was a good day...
Photo by Madre

Friday, April 15, 2011

Hodge-Podge 2

After the dentist the other day, I couldn't smile with one half of my face.  I ended up smirking at everyone all afternoon.  Muahahaha.

Thought of today: Does anyone at work take me seriously when my breath smells like goldfish?

Brutharrrr thought: My wise sibling noted that 'outspoken' sounds like the opposite of what it means... Doesn't it seem like someone who is out-spoken is shy/quiet? Kinda like outshone or outdone.

I need a new To-Do list now....

My brutharrrr sent me this adorable video of a ticklish penguin.  It's a serious contender for cutest thing I've ever seen.

(hopefully THIS one doesn't get taken down but I have a feeling it will...)

This is also in the running for aforementioned cutest-thing-ever contest:

Steven gets inadvertent credit for me finding this hilarious blog where they put Steve Buscemi's eyes on beautiful women.

Steven gets full and deserved credit for this beautiful painting he did of brutharrrr....

The dark side of the loom...
Hilarious! (credit)

Aaaand, coolest chess board ever? I think so.

Over and out! I hope you enjoyed this hodge-podge!

Monday, April 11, 2011

When I crack a tooth...

 ... I REALLY crack a tooth.

P.S. Thanks for all the birthday wishes, guys! You're too sweet.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Happy my birthday!

When my alarm went off at 5:45 yesterday morning, I thought, "Whhhhyyy???" briefly before I remembered, "Oh yes, I gotta get up early to start one of the best days of my life..."

And it totally was. 

Even though it was the day before my birthday, I felt like my super-duper-special-fantastic day.

I picked up the girlies bright and early....
Tired everyone
We drove to the city.....
Don't worry, we were stopped
I took them to my work where they got to shake hands with some of my coworkers who are pretty well known scientists (Littlest: "I'll always remember I shook a famous scientists hand with THIS hand." Haha! Awwww...)

Fortuitously (completely unrelated to my upcoming birthday) there was chocolate cake in the break room!
We got some hot chocolate...

....I taught them how to code (designing basic fun little quizzes for each other) while I ran my experiments....
Then it was off to a 50's diner for lunch....

Followed by self-serve frozen yogurt....

Then off to the Exploratorium.  a.k.a.: One of my most favoritist places evah.

The fun didn't end after I dropped them off (all of us pooped but happy) as there was a game night at my dad's!
Fun, fun, fun.  Can't wait for my actual birthday celebration(s). 

Happy my birthday to everyone!!!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Short hair prejudices

So, I got a haircut...

I'm always a bit hesitant to let slip that I've got a haircut scheduled because this is invariably met with, "Really? But your hair's already short."  Kinda like if someone's skinny or doing well in school and people are shocked that they eat healthy or study (how do you think they GOT slender or all those As?).  I guess people expect that I would grow my hair out drastically before I got it cut but the truth is, it doesn't look good when it gets longer, thus I'd like to not let it get to that point.  Usually I go between 8-12 weeks between haircuts but this time, due to a very busy upcoming schedule, it has only been 6 weeks.

As you can see, it wasn't so horribly long to start with.  Could've gone another 2-3 weeks before it started to floop.  But one of the key aspects of short haircuts is its shape and it was definitely losing it's shape.

I totally didn't mean to not smile in the before pictures and smile in the afters.  Haha.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Girl Interrupted

March's book, picked by the lovely Laura, was Girl Interrupted.  Thanks Laura! You opened my eyes to a book I don't think I would have ever read on my own but now I'm really glad I did.
Hey, don't judge... I'm a photographer, okay?
Partial explanation for my absence:
Part of what made me drop off the book clubber's world was that I didn't feel like I have anything to offer.  I wrote up this whole big dealio on The Giver but then felt like I'd said nothing more than any other reviewer out there ESPECIALLY the other members of the club (who are way better at this whole writing thing).

My bad: 
It was a mistake to read reviews about The Giver prior to writing my own because intentional or not, I ended up basically summarizing the ones I agreed with in my own words, like it was homework.  So, this time around, I've waited to read the other blogger's opinions until after I finish my post and I have not done any google searches on the novel.  These are my unadulterated thoughts post-reading and pre-movie seeing.

My opinion:
1) I feel like an awful person saying this but I didn't really feel like the author, Kayson, was messed up enough to be considered 'crazy' (but, on the other hand, if she were truly bat-poop insane, would she have been able to write a book?).  Kaysen addresses this in the memoir when she mentions that it made other people very uncomfortable to find out that she, a seemingly normal person, was locked up.  But that's not the issue that bothered me.... I just was expecting her world to be much, much different than mine and was a little disappointed, that's all.
Which brings me to point #2....
2) March and April's book line up nicely on both ends of the memoir spectrum.  One being so veridical I think it could've used a bit of spice and the other unquestionably jazzed up.  Do I value Egger's book less knowing that his brother can, at any moment, morph into a mouthpiece for his own stream of consciousness?  Would I read Girl Interrupted differently if it were fiction?

Now I kinda wish I HAD read other blogger's reviews.  I actually specifically wish I had read this post not only before writing this post but also before reading the book, or at least before finishing it.  'Borderline personality disorder' is just one of those words I've heard so much it's lost it's meaning.  I hadn't really pondered that it literally meant on the border of seemingly normal and seemingly off your rocker.  This has made me have a newfound respect for what the author went through and I probably would have written a more sensitive post had I grasped this sooner.

Now, I'm off to read the other book clubber's reviews here (and I suggest you do too!).

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Ingredients for a fantastic day:

1) Outdoor fun - I have had SUCH good luck with the soccer teams...  Somehow, I always end up with the friendly, cheerful people who take losing well but are so talented they don't often lose.  I get inspired from their impressive skills as well as receive plenty of positive feedback from them, thus my game improves while I am having fun the whole time.
Today was my first game with my new group.  I was really nervous but my brother and dad came and their support made the whole morning 100x better.  We won 4-1.  Heehee... that rhymes.
Photo by dad

2) Family time - Yesterday, I bought a sweater in Santa Cruz (yay) but then got home and found out I had bought the wrong size (long story, but basically 'boo').  I was real bummed to have to waste gas and time going back to exchange it but then bruthaaar sweetly offered to accompany me so it became a fun mini-road trip instead!  Wasn't that nice?

3) Great weather - I prematurely wore shorts yesterday.  Brrr.  TODAY was spring.  Silly me.

(if for some reason you haven't already seen this)
(new mix is UUUPPP)

Did you guys have a fantastic weekend also?  I sure hope so!